The Man In The Window

The suffocating grip of fear had become a constant companion. My upside-down smile tugs at my facial muscles, and my arms hang by my sides like I'm carrying heavy rocks. Walking through the streets, I wonder if people can see the pain. Maybe when I move, I leave a trail of darkness in my wake, making people step out of my path. Or maybe, they don't see me at all.

As long as he follows me, no matter where I am or who I am with, the feeling of hope fills my soul for a day or two before he returns, and dread takes over every inch of me once again.

When I get back home, the blinds are closed. The house is cold and ominous in the darkness, as it always is. My house is just a cage that I hid in. 

Thud, thud, thud.

He's at the window. My palms sweat, and my mind scrambles as I feebly prepare to protect myself. He clouds my judgement, making rational thoughts hard to find. I knew he was there; I felt his presence ache through my bones. I hear him talk to me through the thin pane of glass that separates us; his words are inaudible, but the muffled male voice is loud. 

The hairs on my arm prick up straight.

I crack open a small gap in the blind, but I see nothing.

He's tricking me, in my head, just like he wanted. I hold my heart as my laboured breathing causes my legs to buckle.

"I'm safe, I'm safe," I repeated aloud.

But I know that I am not. I can't stay here. 

'Secluded romantic getaways' is the first thing Google suggests to me. I scroll until I come across the perfect place, 'Holly Lodge'—an escape within the thick woodlands of the Forest of Dean, where I grew up.

Without giving it a second thought, I book for that evening and leave as soon as possible. 

I grab my rucksack and fill it with my belongings: an iPad, jumper, toiletries, change of underwear, books, and a charger. That will do. I put my hair in a ponytail, chuck on my green parka coat, and shove my feet into chunky boots, making sure to tie them tightly, just in case. I grab a few packs of soba noodles and shove them into my coat pockets.

Standing at the front door, I take a deep breath before hurrying to my car.

My eyes divert to my rear-view mirrors every few minutes.  After the first hour, I feel confident that I am entirely alone.  

Turning onto a gravel track away from an already secluded main road, I see Holly Lodge perched in the middle of a beautiful clearing. Untamed ferns, tall grass, and clusters of wildflowers surround it. 

I park up and walk towards the quaint yet charming cabin. The air seems lighter here, full of fresh pine and wet earth. 

I unpack my belongings while listening to the soft rustle of leaves outside the window. As the day turns to dusk, I prepare my simple meal and settle by the crackling fire. I let the warmth seep into my bones as I flick to a bookmarked page in my current favourite novel. 

But as darkness falls and shadows grow long, a familiar sense of unease creeps back into the pits of my mind. I glance nervously at the window, expecting to see him lurking in the darkness. 

I try to distract myself in the pages of my book, but my mind keeps wandering to the flickers of light that seem to move around me and the faint breeze that tickles the back of my neck. The golden red fire did little to ease my now racing heart, and every creak of the cabin echoes with sinister intent.

The floorboards groan from above me, the sound of heavy feet. I shoot out of my seat and fight the fear that tries to root me to the ground.

Suddenly, footsteps begin to pace down the wooden stairs.

I make a run for the bathroom and lock myself inside. Stood catatonic in the centre of the room, eyes wide with fear, I realise he's here. 

An eternity goes by, and I know I need to get out. Get to my car. But what if he's waiting for me, peering from the bannisters of the stairs? 

I place my ear up to the door to check for sounds before I crack it open. Seeing nobody, I make a run for it. I grab my car keys off the side and bolt towards the door.

I turn the lock -

Knock, knock, knock

He was at the door.

Panic rushes over like a tidal wave, pulling me under. I stumble backwards and trip over my feet in a desperate scramble for safety.

I watch the knob turn. 

My heart hammers as the door creaks open, revealing the yawning darkness beyond.

 Fear claws at my throat, rendering me speechless. I want to scream and run, but my body feels like lead.

The man that had been following me, torturing me, was finally going to consume me.

With trembling hands, I fumble around, looking for anything to defend myself. My fingers bind themselves around my book. Clutching it to my chest, I pull my legs beneath me like a coiled spring. I try to take a deep breath.

Then, it appears, an ominous silhouette fills the doorway, and a growl reverberates. 

"There you are."

Each word clings to me, dragging me down into the earth. How did he find me? 

With a surge of adrenaline, I raise the book in trembling hands.

He runs towards me. 

I close my eyes tightly. 

Before I can land a blow, he's got me. 

Strong arms wrap around me. 

I look up to see…

 My mother. 

"There, there." 

Fear turned to heartbreak as I burst into tears. My mother's body falls to the floor with mine as she holds my head in her chest. 

It happened again.

It takes a moment to piece together what's going on. Trying to untangle the fear and confusion that had taken over me. In my mother's embrace, the storm gradually subsides. 

"There is something wrong with me." I whimper, my voice barely audible over my ragged breaths. "I'm so sorry."

My mother raises my chin so our eyes meet, hers a mix of love and concern.

"There is nothing wrong with you.” She says, her nurturing voice wrapping around me like a blanket. "You are so strong, and you are not alone. We will get through this together." 

I weep as I hug her tightly. 

"Come on, let's get you home." She says.

We grab my possessions and leave the cabin, walking into the dead of night.

"The car is just through these trees." She whispers, her hand holding mine firmly as she leads the way, tugging me into the woods.

I look back to see the final speckles of light from the cabin slowly disappear.

"I love you, Mum." I whisper.

Her grip tightens. 

"Mum?"